A Mistake
"Oh no thank you love," you said,
"That isn't something I do with casual partners."
That familiar flush of shame at having offered what you did not want.
But a few tequilas later you did it all the same - a slippery dip bare inside me, a sneaky little push, twice, maybe three times
So quick it could be read as foreplay and not, oh god, oh god help me, not a kind of sex you don't have with casual partners.
...
My darling, my reckless and hungry wanderer, I wish I had lifted my hips to you in that moment like you make the sun rise impossibly in me.
To have pulled you hard into me would have been an easier betrayal. To have ruined everything then and there, redeemed your little lapse with my own unforgiveable misdeed -
I wish I had preempted your honest apology with my dishonest one
And just gone quietly away.